27 Comments
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Louise I. Baker's avatar

Fascinating. And I can quite picture the feeling you both had. (And you both had it!)

Awfulness that is unqualifiable but totally palpable.

Lev Raphael's avatar

That describes it perfectly. The place where it seemed most horrible was the air shaft and of course our minds went to a murder or a suicide that had left its mark.

Lev Raphael's avatar

My friend and I are both crime fiction aficionados and I'm a crime novel author.

Keiichiro Iwamoto's avatar

Hello, Louise. The final prayer felt to me like the kind of prayer that naturally rises from the deepest part of your heart when you can no longer stand on your own strength. I think everyone, whether they have faith or not, experiences a moment like that at least once in their life. 😇

Erin Dahl's avatar

Well this one hits a nerve. Places can really get under your skin, can't they? Beautifully written, as always. I see why you're leaving now! Goodness!

Louise I. Baker's avatar

Hmmm yes it’s a miracle we withstood those five years. Not the most naturally cosy home. So grateful to you for reading this Erin.

Erin Dahl's avatar

Haunted for five years! 😳

Dua's avatar

Amazing poem. The last line especially about bowing down stayed with me. So cool. Keep writing. It's an amazing piece.

Martin Lane's avatar

Haunted, Ashen. Running thin. Louise, this is beautiful, spoken directly from the unconscious. Fears that sound like courage.

Louise I. Baker's avatar

That is so generous of you, Martin. I do have a chatty unconscious.

Larisa Rimerman's avatar

Horror of a house only or horror of break also? Splendidly expressed...

Louise I. Baker's avatar

I think I was moved at once by historical terror and a more general existential terror to write this, Larisa.

I so value your impressions and your time spent in reading. Thank you.

Larisa Rimerman's avatar

Oh, dear Louise, I don’t have existential terror of writing, maybe because I am too old for that, but I still remember of the terror when I, young at the time, entered a room of my acquaintance in Leningrad. It was a room, in the Petersburg building, resembling of the Raskolnikov‘s attic smallest room, like a kennel. Life passed, and I still remember that room and , my feeling- this is a place to commit suicide.

Please, do not overvalue me.

Louise I. Baker's avatar

Oh my Lord, Larisa, I can absolutely (and unhappily) imagine such a room. May you stay away from all places of doom for the rest of your life!

Lev Raphael's avatar

The line about misery really struck home. Many years ago, I helped a friend with apartment hunting in Manhattan and we were checking out a beautiful river view apartment on Riverside Drive. The more of it we saw (separately) the more each of us got anxious and finally back in the foyer, we said at the same time, "We have to leave!" In the elevator, both of us talked about how horrible the vibe was in that place. Not quite Hill House, but misery, cruelty, something awful infested the seemingly great flat.

Louise I. Baker's avatar

Answered in the wrong place as I often do. Sorry.

Please see above.

Lev Raphael's avatar

No worries, or as I can now say in Norwegian, ingen årsak! It seems to be one of the few phrases that sticks, maybe because of the rhythm.

Louise I. Baker's avatar

Ooooohhh. Did you learn this by actually being in Norway? Where does the stress fall in the phrase (first syllable for both words?)

Lev Raphael's avatar

I'm past Day 950 on Duolingo my second time through (the first time through it was Dutch back when they gave you grammar information and there were discussions available). I did this 2nd round to continue Swedish, I think and when I finished, decided to try Norwegian which has some similarities, though it doesn't seem to register for me the same way. Probably because I spent so much time reading about Sweden when I thought I'd be teaching there, and I watched so many Swedish movies.

Lev Raphael's avatar

Favorite Swedish phrase: Jag kan inte hitta mina byxor. I can't find my pants. A Swedish friend said my accent was really good (it's due to my audiation as a singer) but I don't feel I'm "getting" Norwegian as a speaker, more as a reader.

Louise I. Baker's avatar

How fascinating that singing would give you an edge in English. I was struck when in Stockholm by just how sing-songy it is. Not like Danish!

User's avatar
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Jul 20
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Louise I. Baker's avatar

Bell hooks… Hell books.

I think inverting the first two letters on words in a noun group is called a spoonerism.

I seem to remember my Mum teaching me that.

(And yes, this Note is really intended to be about the crap that can lie dormant in your brain for about thirty years and then take centre brain stage.)

Everyone reading is welcome.

Louise I. Baker's avatar

Yup, I am fluent in ill-wishing seventeenth-century Occitanian Ghost.

I mean no wonder this damned house hasn't sold yet.

You could have a sage bonfire on the entire kitchen floor and not rid the place of nasty spirits.

Thank you for your much-valued thoughts.